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Thursday, January 12, 2017

One Day You Will Meet Someone Who Will Love Every Single Part Of You


One day you will meet someone who will love the ugly parts of you. Every flaw, every scar and every rusty edge. And they will love those parts just as much, if not more, than the better parts of you.
You see, you aren’t supposed to look for someone who will only love you when you are at your best. You aren’t supposed to be looking for someone who only will treat you right, if you do everything correctly according to what they want. You’re not supposed to look for someone who doesn’t even love the real you.
And I can promise you this. One day, whether it’s two days from now, or five years from now, you are going to find this person. Whether you believe me or not. You will. 
I know this person is only in your dreams right now. This person is only a fairytale for you right now. And this person, doesn’t even exist for you at this moment. You’re probably thinking it won’t happen to someone like you. It won’t happen to someone who talks like you, or looks like you, or acts like you. But darling, guess what? One day you will find the person who adores the way you talk. Who adores the way you look. Who adores the way you act, no matter how crazy or silly you are.
You see, the right person for you isn’t going to be a perfect human. They probably aren’t going to have a six-pack with a million dollar smile. They probably will have characteristics that a lot of people would hate. But just like they will adore your negative traits, you will adore theirs too.

The difference between everyone else, and ‘your person’, is that this special person for you will accept who you truly are. And they won’t just accept it. They will adore it.
They will love the way your nose crinkles up when you smile. They will love the way you snort too loudly when you laugh. They will love the rolls on your tummy and will kiss the hell out of them. They will love the way you get so mad at the tiniest of things, and how you are too stubborn for your own good. They will love the way you drive them crazy. They will love all the baggage that past relationships gave you. And they will love you in moments, when you try to test their love for you.
They will love every single part of you. And no matter how terrible you can act towards them, no matter what ugly words come flying out of your mouth, they will still love you. Despite it all. Despite the parts of you that you wish weren’t there. Despite the parts that you hate about yourself. And despite the parts of you that you are ashamed of.
They will take all of you for who you are. They will hug your ugly parts and kiss those flaws, just like they kiss your other beautiful parts.
Because to this person? Every part of you is the most god damn glorious thing they have ever seen. And they wouldn’t ever, ever dream of changing anything about you.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

I Don’t Need You To Spoil Me, But I Definitely Need You To Make An Effort

My expectations in love seem high, but they aren’t unrealistic. They aren’t unreasonable.

I don’t need to be the only person in your life. I want you to have friends you can grab a beer with when I’m stuck at work. I want you to have parents you’re close to and cousins you visit on weekends. But I don’t want to be considered a second choice. The person you call when everyone else is busy. The person you fall back on. I expect to be treated like a priority.

But being your first priority doesn’t mean I need your full attention. I don’t need you to text me from the second your alarm chimes in the morning until your head sinks into your pillow at night. I don’t need never-ending affection. But I do need affection. I need you to set time aside to visit me and plan out dates you think I’d like. I need you to ask me about my day and tell me all about yours. I need you to prove that you give a damn about me.

And giving a damn consists of more than pretty words — it includes actions. I don’t need you to buy me plane tickets for my birthday and jewelry for our anniversary. I don’t need you to waste the paychecks you worked so hard to get on a single gift that I’m going to toss in my drawer. But I do expect you to find something special to wrap up for me. To write something thoughtful in my card. To make me feel like I actually matter to you.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t need you to spoil me, to put me on some sort of pedestal and act like I’m your queen, because that screams unhealthy. But I do need you to show me respect. To put in effort — as much effort as I do. I want us to be equals in every conceivable way.

The thing is, I don’t want you to do nice things for me, because I’m asking. Or because you’re worried about losing me. I want you to do them, because you’re crazy about me and want to see me happy. Because the idea of not doing them isn’t even an option in your head.

I want someone that doesn’t even realize how much effort he’s putting in, because his sweet gestures don’t feel like a burden. Driving me around isn’t a hindrance. Eating dinner with my parents isn’t an annoyance. Making time for me isn’t an inconvenience. They’re things he’s choosing to do — not things he’s forced to do.

I want someone that wants a relationship with me and is willing to do the work required to sustain it. Not someone that halfheartedly decides to commit, because I made him feel important and the sex was good. I can’t accept laziness. I can’t accept lack of effort.

It might seem like my standards are high, but they’re exactly where they belong. When it comes down to it, I’m not asking for much. But I am asking for you to try.